Dreaming of You

There is so much about Germany that I love. Fresh baked goods being very high on that list. And no, I'm not kidding. Their bread's the best everrrr. It's been a great five months here (yeah, five months already, can you believe it?). But I must confess, I do miss America. A large portion of my day dreaming, aside from hot German men taking me on fabulous vacations, is spent thinking about home. Since this takes up a lot of my thoughts, I figured I would give you a list of the top American things on my mind. My American friends and family will laugh at most of these for sure, knowing that they get to enjoy the awesomeness that I am missing out on (love you guys too...). As for my German friends, you don't realize what you are missing out on. At all. And for that I apologize. And invite you to come to my neck of the woods, if you ever decide to go to California, where I will treat you to the best burger ever. EVER.

1. Disneyland
My home away from home. Things are a little less magical when one can't go to Disneyland at least once a week. Sigh. But the magic lives on... in my dreams. I seriously have a ridiculous amount of dreams about being at Disneyland doing various things. The great tragedy is waking up to my alarm clock.

Rainy night with the girls walking down Main Street U.S.A.

2. In-N-Out/Taco Bell/Subway/Jamba Juice/Terri House/Lucille's BBQ/Every other restaurant I love
Food, glorious food! Americans just have so many freaking choices when it comes to food, especially in Southern California. It's amazing how one little smell or thought can trigger an intense craving for a food item I have long been deprived of and then last the whole day (or week). I drool just thinking about an In-N-Out Burger. Mmmmm...

Amy and I comparing burgers at In-n-out.

3. School
I will admit, I'm quite the nerd. I love school. I love being in a class, taking notes, doodling, getting lost in my own thoughts, learning lots of nerdy things.... being away from college means I don't get to fulfill my nerdy needs. I am stuck making due with online classes. Which are evil soul sucking creations of doom. I need a classroom pronto.

4. Watching T.V.
Although there is a T.V. in the apartment, I don't ever watch it (unless it's the kids channel with my girlies). Why? Well, it's being all in German is a major factor. Also, we don't have a bunch of channels. And I really don't have the desire to watch it. I mostly catch all my T.V. shows on iTunes (yes, I actually pay to watch things), so I don't feel the need to suffer through only understanding half a T.V. show. But I've come across a problem... how am I going to watch the Olympics?! I love the Olympics, and will be tremendously sad if I can't get some coverage of it in English online. This, along with not watching Top Gear every five seconds on BBC America, makes me really miss my American T.V. channels.

5. Target/The Mall
Target, my love. I pretty much live at Target. Lived. I haven't seen the interior of a Target in far too long. I miss going just to look at all the things I wish I had money for or running around the aisles trying to get all the things I can afford. There really is no place like Target here in Germany. Which is tragic. I also miss American malls... here malls are a relatively new thing, and they are slightly smaller and more compact. I get all claustrophobic and want to leave as fast as possible. Shopping is great here, I just miss my typical stores.

6. Talking
I love to talk. So not being able to be understood all the time drives me bonkers. Most of the people I talk with either speak in German or English (a lot of them know other languages). My German isn't so great, but I can get on well enough, especially when the people I talk to can't speak English. But on the whole, I know quite a bit of people who speak English here. Which is great (and not so great for practicing my German). But, I really miss talking to native English speakers. Many American idioms and many of my strange words ("sassy" being a prime example) are lost on people here. To their credit they often just nod and smile haha.

7. Rhonda the Honda & Road Trips
Here, if I want to get somewhere, I either walk, ride my bike, or take a train. That's just the way things are. Not everyone has a car. And if they do have one, they don't use it as frequently as Americans do. I can count the amount of times I've been in a car here on my fingers. It's such a rare thing, and I pretty much get giddy when anyone mentions a car ride. I miss my Rhonda the Honda desperately. I love getting around how I do here, but there is just something so wonderful about having my car to take me places (I have a huge list of reasons, I won't bore you with them). And taking trains to other cities is great, but they take all the fun out of a "road trip". I need a road trip through the desert like now.

Rhonda the Honda and I chilling out in Niland, CA.

8. Reading
I get really excited when I can perfectly read a sign these days. Sound pathetic? It's not. When you live in a country where everything is in a different language, suddenly being able to read signs is difficult. Being able to read them and feel like a normal part of society is pretty freaking exciting. Same goes for walking into a bookstore. There's nothing more horrifying than seeing thousands of books that I am unable to read.

9. "No Weather"
Ahh I never realized how spoiled rotten I was when it came to weather. I mean, I "knew", but I didn't really "know". When cold to me means throw on a sweatshirt, jeans and sneakers; it's a real shocker to suddenly find myself wearing three pairs of socks, boots, leggings, jeans, an undershirt, shirt, sweater, coat, scarf, gloves, and hat. Long, cold Winter to say the least. The other day it was warm enough to wear just a skirt, shirt, and jacket and I told freaked out. Why? I felt naked.

10. The Beach & Ocean
Oh how I long to feel sand between my toes and frolic around in the waves. So Cal girls aren't meant to be away from the ocean this long. My inner mermaid is having some serious withdrawals.

The girls and I striking a pose on the beach in San Diego, CA.

11. Coffee Shops
Gone are my long afternoons and evenings spent pouring over homework (and facebook) while slurping up ridiculous amounts of good coffee with friends. For something that was such a big part of my weekly routine, it's strange not to have it happen anymore. I miss it so.

Jarae and I at It's a Grind pondering one of the big questions of life: Face in a book, or Facebook?

12. American People
I've met people from all over the world the past couple months. I've seen many cultures in action, and it's fascinating. I love meeting new people. But as much as I love all the people I've met, I miss my Americans. There's no one quite like us. We are weird, but I love our weirdness. And it would be really nice to be able to say I'm from California and not have it be in the least bit interesting or exciting. Just once.

All that being said... these may be the things and places I miss, but I mostly miss my friends and family. Because these places and things wouldn't be so awesome without them. Can't wait to tackle you all with hugs when I get home. Until then, I continue to bask in the awesome adventure that is Germany. Even if that means six more months of no In-N-Out Burgers.

The Queen of Procrastination

Hi I'm Ashley and I'm a procrastinator. (insert support group applause. Kidding!)

I am a terrible procrastinator, and I know it. My poor family and friends have had to deal with my antics for the last 20 years, sorry guys! Its been a slow and steady decline since childhood. Yes, I have gotten better at some areas of doing things and getting places on time, but for the majority I am terrible. I mean, everyone has come to expect me to be fifteen minutes late. To everything. That's just so pathetic.

What can I say? I run on my own internal clock. The time space continuum means very little to my brain. I do try my best, but I'm just about as distractable as a hyperactive puppy. I'm on task and then boom! I am off doing something else. Or my famous last words are uttered: "I still have 15 minutes!" Or even more famous last words: "I will do it tomorrow."

Procrastination is something that I have long come to accept about myself. I even get an adrenaline high writing a paper an hour before it's due or driving like a madwoman because I have five minutes to get somewhere. But now that I am older I have come to realize I real need to change this aspect of me.

Being in college has really whooped my butt (in more ways than one). In Elementary school, Jr. High, and High School it's amazing how easily I could get away with procrastination. Being smart and sweet, I was well loved and trusted by my teachers (never had a teacher that didn't like me!). That paired with my love of doing things at the last minute fostered my crazy procrastination skills into what they are today.

Now, don't get me wrong. I am no slacker. I am really crazy hard worker and I love to learn. School is lovely! It's my deep love of feeling ridiculous accomplished when I get something done at the last minute that is the problem. Also I know that I often get some of my best work done at the last minute. (And I will let you in on a secret... I absolutely hate being early. I find it uncomfortable and embarrassing. Ridiculous? Yes). I tend to be an over thinker, and that can really mess with things. Examples? Writing a ten page paper when it's supposed to be six max because I just can't cut out anything. Packing about three months of clothes for a two week vacation. Yeah, I am one of THOSE people at the airport.

College brought to my attention that I could no longer procrastinate the way I used to (only took me two years to realize it. Stubborn? Me?? Pff as if haha). More time needs to be spent on my homework and studying. I have had to learn some intense lessons. There is nothing like a zero in the gradebook to kill your grade. And I take my grades pretty darn seriously. So doing terrible last semester was a horrible blow to my pride. But it definitely made me readjust and realize that I couldn't just cruise through school and homework like I used to.

So I took a small step in the right direction this Summer when I worked my butt off in my German class, learned a lot, and then ended up getting a great grade. This semester is going to require even more discipline from myself since I have three classes which are online. I have been doing really well so far. I definitely am up to my eyeballs in work, but it's so worth it. I am getting things done on time (and even some things early, I know *gasp!*)

This is how my attitude needs to be with school from now on. No, school is not the most important thing in my life and I should not let it consume me. But I am presented with the amazing blessing to go to college and pursue my dreams, and I shouldn't take that for granted.

Now I am sure you are wondering, "What on earth does this have to do with Germany? This is your Germany blog Ashley, I am not here to listen to you ramble!" Well it has a lot to do with Germany, thank you very much!

I'm sure you have heard that the Germans are quite punctual. It's like God thought: "Let's send her to Germany! She will learn to be punctual there or else!" I'm sure he is having quite the giggle about this. I may look German with my blonde hair, blue eyes, and fair complexion; but the instant I do anything or say anything, my every pore in my body will scream "I'm an American!" I'm okay with that, and not at the same time (I hate being considered a tourist when I go on vacation... that's a story for another blog post though).

I have decided God knew (as usual) that this was exactly what I needed. I need to deal with procrastination. And not just on a school level, but on an everything level. No more being late places, turning things in late, waiting to the last second to complete a responsibility or errand... the list goes on. No more!

A couple months ago my dad suggested I make a list of things I want to work on about myself while I am in Germany. He said this is a once in a lifetime chance to really see myself and then acknowledge that I can't change everything I find unsatisfactory, but pick a few to try and work on. God working on my heart being a major factor here. Of course I needing to be open to change is key as well. So I have made a list. I have a few things, it's not quite the official list yet. But I do know one thing I am for sure working on: Procrastinating. Might as well call me "that punctual girl over there" instead of "that extremely late chick at the back of the room." Be prepared to be amazed when I get back to the states!

Deutsch Klasse

I started "Summer school shopping" in May. I had known since March that I would need to find a German class to show the Au Pair agency and the German government that I was interested in Germany and their language. It's one of the qualifications to be an au pair there. But I waited till May since that is typically when school start posting up their Summer school courses. Silly naive me, I thought it would be as easy as signing up at Long Beach City College and then being done with it. But of course it was about as simple as putting together furniture from Ikea.

Turns out because of budget cuts, the Summer language courses had really taken a hit and very few community colleges had any language classes at all. And what was typically offered was Spanish or French, neither being at all helpful to my search. I finally found a school that offered it, and I got so excited. Then I got really bummed. It was like three hours away. No way I was gunna make that drive.

Panic was beginning to creep up on me. All I could think was, "Crap, crap, crap, why didn't I realize this would happen?! I'm never going to find a class and then what the heck will I tell my German family? *ahhhhhhh*" After much moaning and groaning how I was doomed,  I continued my search.

One of the last schools I looked at was Cerritos. Considering how close it to Long Beach you are probably wondering why I didn't check that first. Funny thing is I have no clue. Apparently I had lost all sense of logic at that moment. But, point is I finally checked out their classes. And guess what? They had one German class! I just about died of happiness. Then I realized the class, and it's waiting list were already full. I groaned and proceeded to pout like the five year old that I am.

After pouting, I acted my age and emailed the teacher explaining to her the situation. I even told her I was fine with taking the class without it even counting for units. I was desperate. She emailed me back about a week later and told me we would work something out if I never was able to enroll in the class. She also told me to be there the first day of class. I felt much, much better after that. I just had to wait until the first week of July to find out my fate.

The first week of July rolled around much faster than I wanted. By starting this class I knew I would be giving up my social life. It was Monday through Thursday from 6 to 9:30 p.m. So six weeks of no evenings and then count all the time spent doing homework and studying. Hence, no social life. Well there was a little one, just really wimpy to what I'm used to...

I got to Cerritos College, which is actually right on the border of Norwalk and Cerritos, and immediately found myself missing LBCC. Now, I am not one for school spirit/pride and all that hoop-la (even in high school, shocking I know). But I realized then how much I adored my school, even though I rag on it all the time. There is something so nice about the way LBCC is laid out and the buildings all have this cohesive feel, and all the nice lawn and trees, and the bunnies (oh how I adore the bunnies). Cerritos has a weird layout and is a mish mash of buildings that were definitely built over a series of decades. And there are no exotic wildlife.

I got to class and was quite surprised. Ten people didn't show up so everyone on the wait list and the petitioner (me) got enrolled in the class. I was so ecstatic!

My teacher, Frau Potter, is a native German. (Don't let her last name fool you, she married a British man). She is quite the character. She has such a dry humor, a matter of fact sense about her, and deep sense of joy. You can tell she loves to teach and really has her students best interest in mind. God really blessed me with her. Frau Potter definitely is what I needed to learn German. I would most definitely recommend her if you are looking to take a German class!

My classmates. What can I say? They were quite the odd grouping. Definitely kept class interesting. I made friends with a girl named Martha. She is such a sweet girl and it was great getting to know her.

Class was so fast paced. A vocab test and a chapter test each week. Along with homework every night. I definitely was given a run for my money. But after the doom that was my last semester I knew I was going to try my absolute hardest to throw myself into this class. Also knowing that I would be needing this language come September was a really big motivator. As predicted, my social life died very quickly (Sorry to my wonderful friends and family, I was kinda up to my eyeballs in German vocab cards. I will make it up to you these next five weeks!).

As class went along I began to really enjoy myself. And I started to like certain things about Cerritos' campus (my loyalty still lies with LBCC of course). They have a wonderful library with high ceilings and really cool little areas to study. They also have multiple parking lots so your classroom in never three million miles away from where you park (which was really nice since it was dark when I walked back to my car each night). The also have parking stickers to put on your window. LBCC, you should be taking notes...

The end of class came last Thursday when I took my final. I felt so satisfied, but at the same time was left wanting more. I wanted to keep learning, and to have the motivation of knowing that I had a test every Monday and Thursday. But at the same time it felt so great to be done. I know I tried my best, and whatever grade that was to come my way was well deserved. I figured I would get a B based on my test and homework scores. Well, I have always been bad at math, and thus I was wrong about my grade. They were posted last night and guess what. I got an A!!! I am so proud of myself. If only each semester I was able devote myself to only one class and feel this great afterwards.

I always thought I would hate taking Summer school and that it would really stress me out. I still think that to be quite true, but there is wiggle room in that thought now. If I take a class that will be enjoyable and something that I will throw myself into, then I won't hate it. And though I will be stressed, it will be worth it. But I must admit, if I had taken this class in Summers past I wouldn't have been able to handle it. I guess this is just one of those moments when you realize how much you have changed without even noticing.