I am a terrible procrastinator, and I know it. My poor family and friends have had to deal with my antics for the last 20 years, sorry guys! Its been a slow and steady decline since childhood. Yes, I have gotten better at some areas of doing things and getting places on time, but for the majority I am terrible. I mean, everyone has come to expect me to be fifteen minutes late. To everything. That's just so pathetic.
What can I say? I run on my own internal clock. The time space continuum means very little to my brain. I do try my best, but I'm just about as distractable as a hyperactive puppy. I'm on task and then boom! I am off doing something else. Or my famous last words are uttered: "I still have 15 minutes!" Or even more famous last words: "I will do it tomorrow."
Procrastination is something that I have long come to accept about myself. I even get an adrenaline high writing a paper an hour before it's due or driving like a madwoman because I have five minutes to get somewhere. But now that I am older I have come to realize I real need to change this aspect of me.
Being in college has really whooped my butt (in more ways than one). In Elementary school, Jr. High, and High School it's amazing how easily I could get away with procrastination. Being smart and sweet, I was well loved and trusted by my teachers (never had a teacher that didn't like me!). That paired with my love of doing things at the last minute fostered my crazy procrastination skills into what they are today.
Now, don't get me wrong. I am no slacker. I am really crazy hard worker and I love to learn. School is lovely! It's my deep love of feeling ridiculous accomplished when I get something done at the last minute that is the problem. Also I know that I often get some of my best work done at the last minute. (And I will let you in on a secret... I absolutely hate being early. I find it uncomfortable and embarrassing. Ridiculous? Yes). I tend to be an over thinker, and that can really mess with things. Examples? Writing a ten page paper when it's supposed to be six max because I just can't cut out anything. Packing about three months of clothes for a two week vacation. Yeah, I am one of THOSE people at the airport.
College brought to my attention that I could no longer procrastinate the way I used to (only took me two years to realize it. Stubborn? Me?? Pff as if haha). More time needs to be spent on my homework and studying. I have had to learn some intense lessons. There is nothing like a zero in the gradebook to kill your grade. And I take my grades pretty darn seriously. So doing terrible last semester was a horrible blow to my pride. But it definitely made me readjust and realize that I couldn't just cruise through school and homework like I used to.
So I took a small step in the right direction this Summer when I worked my butt off in my German class, learned a lot, and then ended up getting a great grade. This semester is going to require even more discipline from myself since I have three classes which are online. I have been doing really well so far. I definitely am up to my eyeballs in work, but it's so worth it. I am getting things done on time (and even some things early, I know *gasp!*)
This is how my attitude needs to be with school from now on. No, school is not the most important thing in my life and I should not let it consume me. But I am presented with the amazing blessing to go to college and pursue my dreams, and I shouldn't take that for granted.
Now I am sure you are wondering, "What on earth does this have to do with Germany? This is your Germany blog Ashley, I am not here to listen to you ramble!" Well it has a lot to do with Germany, thank you very much!
I'm sure you have heard that the Germans are quite punctual. It's like God thought: "Let's send her to Germany! She will learn to be punctual there or else!" I'm sure he is having quite the giggle about this. I may look German with my blonde hair, blue eyes, and fair complexion; but the instant I do anything or say anything, my every pore in my body will scream "I'm an American!" I'm okay with that, and not at the same time (I hate being considered a tourist when I go on vacation... that's a story for another blog post though).
I have decided God knew (as usual) that this was exactly what I needed. I need to deal with procrastination. And not just on a school level, but on an everything level. No more being late places, turning things in late, waiting to the last second to complete a responsibility or errand... the list goes on. No more!
A couple months ago my dad suggested I make a list of things I want to work on about myself while I am in Germany. He said this is a once in a lifetime chance to really see myself and then acknowledge that I can't change everything I find unsatisfactory, but pick a few to try and work on. God working on my heart being a major factor here. Of course I needing to be open to change is key as well. So I have made a list. I have a few things, it's not quite the official list yet. But I do know one thing I am for sure working on: Procrastinating. Might as well call me "that punctual girl over there" instead of "that extremely late chick at the back of the room." Be prepared to be amazed when I get back to the states!
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